Building deep friendships takes time, even several years. When I lived in Finland, even though I spent some odd months abroad, I had fixed sets of friends from school, work and hobbies. I met the same people regularly and we knew almost everything about each other's lives. Because I wanted to focus on these few good friendships, I seldom had time to meet new people.
However, since I started traveling I have made dozens of portable friends all over the world. My phone is filled with catch-up conversations, and I have local guides wherever I choose to travel. These friendships are intensively built through shared experiences during relatively short time periods. They often share same world views and attitudes.
As time goes by, I stay less and less in touch with my Finnish friends. It is fun messaging with my world friends but they are not here, either. I realize that everyone has some closer friend than me - I am not very important to anyone. When I miss someone hundreds of miles away, I must remind myself that s/he means more to me than I mean to her/him.
I am living a trade off, just like many other expats and travelers. One may say that there are the normal nationalities, and then there is the traveling society. It consists of people from all over world, who are just passing by for a few weeks, months or years. Those people are full of stories and up for a quick drink just to chat with someone interesting. They instantly give much of themselves but do not get attached. I am becoming one of them.
This lifestyle is attracting and makes me feel like I am never getting stuck. Like this guy, with whom I just spent five days at a climbing camp and will most likely never see again, said that we are going through express friendships. I must admit that alongside this ever changing social scheme I miss having a few long term friends who stay with me. Could I have the best of both sides?
Happily in the middle of my oldest and newest climbing friends... |
...I trust my life in their hands as they belay me... |
...to see amazing places like Geyikbayir. |