When I thought about India I imagined colorful culture, delicious food and beautiful landscapes - and also dirtiness, poverty and scams. I entered the country with mixed feelings and found close to what I had expected, both at earthly and spiritual levels.
Hampi was breathtakingly beautiful and peaceful. It was the perfect place to calm down with very few activities; somehow I filled my days with just meditating, bathing and eating. I had planned to boulder a lot and get stronger, but I could not get motivated to try any of the problems. At first I was anxious about not following through my plans and doing nothing productive. Then I accepted the presence and for the first time in my life felt at peace without performing anything. I took the time to thoroughly process some issues, most importantly my tendency to worry about the future. I felt the difference between constantly circling thoughts over opposing life choices and equably trusting that even though I do not know what I will end up doing, it will be alright.
I want to wake up every morning with curiosity about how the day will unfold - without stressing, over-planning or expecting anything. I want to live through each day being in the present, whilst accepting experiences and emotions as they come without fighting them. Meditation helps me in staying centered within myself. I can observe my flying thoughts and moods, and understand that it is up to me either to get tangled with them or let them go. Sometimes I can recognize my disruptive thought patterns before I get swallowed into them and replace them with healthier ones. Through meditation I experience how different emotions feel like physically. I am learning to consciously focus my attention on sound, movement, feeling or anything else; taking the power of experiencing to myself rather than passively letting thoughts and emotions overtake my mind.
Badami was restless and quite unpleasant. It served its purpose to put into practice treating random occurrences with equaminity. I tried to laugh at aggressive monkeys attacking my food, embrace extra falling distance caused by stolen bolts and observe how food poisoning turned around my stomach. Greatly thanks to my travel friends I got into this light, almost careless mood to just humorously note all weirdness around me. As on occasions I was falling into the darkness of my endless worrying about future, I got pulled back into reality by the never ending incidents. Also, I had to painfully experience how having pre-defined expectations about what I want to happen can prevent me from enjoying what actually happens. Not receiving the kind of affection I desire often blocks me from appreciating the good in what I actually get.
Due to various reasons I cut my stay in India short. Now that some time has passed, I can understand more clearly the motives, causalities and intentions behind my own actions and those of others, that led into certain outcomes. As much as it is a cliche, India was an eye opening experience to me.
Hampi was breathtakingly beautiful and peaceful. It was the perfect place to calm down with very few activities; somehow I filled my days with just meditating, bathing and eating. I had planned to boulder a lot and get stronger, but I could not get motivated to try any of the problems. At first I was anxious about not following through my plans and doing nothing productive. Then I accepted the presence and for the first time in my life felt at peace without performing anything. I took the time to thoroughly process some issues, most importantly my tendency to worry about the future. I felt the difference between constantly circling thoughts over opposing life choices and equably trusting that even though I do not know what I will end up doing, it will be alright.
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| Camping in a cave |
I want to wake up every morning with curiosity about how the day will unfold - without stressing, over-planning or expecting anything. I want to live through each day being in the present, whilst accepting experiences and emotions as they come without fighting them. Meditation helps me in staying centered within myself. I can observe my flying thoughts and moods, and understand that it is up to me either to get tangled with them or let them go. Sometimes I can recognize my disruptive thought patterns before I get swallowed into them and replace them with healthier ones. Through meditation I experience how different emotions feel like physically. I am learning to consciously focus my attention on sound, movement, feeling or anything else; taking the power of experiencing to myself rather than passively letting thoughts and emotions overtake my mind.
Badami was restless and quite unpleasant. It served its purpose to put into practice treating random occurrences with equaminity. I tried to laugh at aggressive monkeys attacking my food, embrace extra falling distance caused by stolen bolts and observe how food poisoning turned around my stomach. Greatly thanks to my travel friends I got into this light, almost careless mood to just humorously note all weirdness around me. As on occasions I was falling into the darkness of my endless worrying about future, I got pulled back into reality by the never ending incidents. Also, I had to painfully experience how having pre-defined expectations about what I want to happen can prevent me from enjoying what actually happens. Not receiving the kind of affection I desire often blocks me from appreciating the good in what I actually get.
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| The famous Badami big |
Due to various reasons I cut my stay in India short. Now that some time has passed, I can understand more clearly the motives, causalities and intentions behind my own actions and those of others, that led into certain outcomes. As much as it is a cliche, India was an eye opening experience to me.
