I
sit on the couch, drinking wine and watching Into the Wild. The epic
“free-yourself-from society” movie is supposed to make me psyched
about being free to travel again. I have been fired from my job five
hours earlier. (The flexible Swiss employment system enables
companies to hire and fire people according to changing business
needs. I find it better than the stiff over-protected labor markets
in the rest of the Europe, but that is yet another topic.)
Half
a year ago I had moved to Zurich. Since I left Finland in 2015, it
had been my goal to eventually settle down in Switzerland. I had
spent only a couple of days there, but I was convinced I would love
the mountain outdoors, posh lifestyle and central location of that
small peculiar country. During my working years in the Netherlands I
had systematically networked with Swiss organizations, and I kept
sending out applications to them. After conducting two remote
interviews from India, I finally landed a job in my dream country. I
arrived there on a dark, cold March evening, and I still remember
seeing the Zurich Flughafen sign through the airport windows and
congratulating myself for making it there.
 |
| The Swiss dream - hiking at the mountains |
My
first months in Zurich were pretty miserable. The weather sucked, I
was lonely, climbing was too hard and everything was expensive. But
most of all, I could not get used to the cage life: going to work,
over-planning free time and just being tied down to responsibilities.
After being free to go where ever I wanted to and spending my time as
I wished, I felt trapped. To prevent myself from running away before
giving the real life a fair chance, I made an inner promise to stay
in Switzerland for two years.
I
started to speak German as much as possible, go climbing with
acquaintances, buy small household appliances, cycle to work and live
just a normal everyday life. Even though I never liked my job and I
did not find regular climbing partners, not even mention real
friends, I got used to living in Zurich. Sometimes I dreamt about my
travelling times – about the constant flow of new experiences and
open possibilities – but still somehow I knew I was doing the right
thing by staying. I was not fully committed to building a life in
Switzerland, though. I avoided purchasing anything I could not easily
get rid of and I budgeted my money usage to prepare for non-working
times.
 |
| My lovely home |
My
flatmate comes home and in a slightly drunken dramatic way I talk to
him about the paradox of living between two worlds: the travelling
one and the real one. (What travellers call “a real life” means
having a home and a stable job in one location.) I tell him that
travelling is like a drug. I know that in the end I do not want to
end up growing old dirtbagging in climbing camps without lasting
relationships, but yet still the urge to go travelling just for a bit
longer is too strong. Having suddenly lost my job is like a screaming
opportunity to be free again. My flatmate tells me I
have to make a decision to either stay or travel; one cannot be happy
while constantly hovering between the two worlds and their pros and
cons.
This time the lyrics of Into the
Wild do not have the same effect in me as they did four years ago
when I first left for travels (post: The plan is no plans ) I feel like I have had
enough of freedom and now I am ready to live in the society. However
I will not blindly let the society to define desirable actions for
me, as is normally expected of its members. Instead I will use its
structures to support me in getting what I like about it, whilst
keeping what I can from the flexible, exploring travel lifestyle.
The following day I buy a flight
to Greece. I go there to spend some weeks to just climb, meet up with
friends and enjoy the beach life. But I will return to Switzerland. I
like the city of Zurich. I want to find a new job I enjoy, learn
(Swiss) German and make close friends. I know it takes time and
effort to build a life somewhere new, and I am willing to live
through the initial struggle to get there. It feels good to know what
I want next: Create myself a stable life I enjoy living without
having to dream about being somewhere else.
