I am sitting outside at an terrace, looking into darkness and hearing the sounds of surrounding invisible insects. It seems like ages ago when I was in a very similar setting writing one of my earliest blog entries. Soon I will end this period of exploration - both of the outer world and of my inner self - and return home. It is time to do some reflecting on what I have discovered.
Assumption #1 Office work is not suitable for me. False. I tried doing root-level field work but soon started missing strategies and management. In order to do higher level planning I must spend some time among computers, meeting rooms and coffee machines.
Assumption #2 Meaningfulness motivates me. True. If I know, or at least believe, that my work has positive impact in the lives of people in developing countries, I feel my efforts have value. I also want my work to be challenging, varying, rewarding and fun.
Assumption #3 I can be happy doing nothing. False. After relaxing for a while I want to start doing something productive to earn my living. Free time truly becomes valuable when it is balanced with scheduled responsibility. Just laying around makes me feel useless.
Assumption #4 I should give all my money to the poor. False. Giving small donations to carefully selected targets is good, but releasing a substantial portion of one's income is unnecessary (excluding multi-millionaires). There is lots of grant money floating around and ending up to inefficient and even fake projects. What makes more sense is to streamline the targeting and usage of all that money to provide as much help as possible.
Assumption #5 I am not a morning sports person. False. I have grown to love my morning runs. Getting up right before sunrise and heading outside to enjoy comfortable warmness and to see villages burst into action is delightful.
Assumption #6 I seek continuos learning and experimenting. True. Now I am even more convinced than before that in order to be happy I must live through various environments, sources of action and feelings. However, I am not sure what all variables (incl. location, people, work, hobbies) must keep changing and what ones can remain the same.
Assumption #7 Status does not matter to me. False. I am a bit ashamed to admit, but I still measure my success partly by my professional and social status. That is to be busy at work, get invited to numerous events and be sporty, cultural and trendy.
Assumption #8 Living in beautiful surroundings makes me happy. True. My mood gets better when I walk in an interesting city or peaceful nature. Therefore I love good weather and appreciate immediate access to outdoor activities. I like my home to be neat, spacious and lightfull - my own atmospheric spot.
Assumption #9 I am a punctual person. True. Even though here plans are being made at last minute, meetings start when everyone has arrived and it is impossible to predict whether a journey from one place to another takes 15min or 1hour, and I have learned to live with it, I prefer having pre-determined schedules and sticking to them.
Assumption #10 Art is not my piece of cake. False. Previously I thought that because I am not artistically talented there is no point in doing it. Now I believe that as long as I enjoy art I should do it, even if it impresses nobody. I still do not want to paint or sign but I could learn dancing and photography.
Assumption #11 Efficiency is a self-standing value. True (maybe). Never before I questioned the importance of using resources (time, money, skills) in most efficient ways to maximize produced outcomes, be it higher shareholder value, charity efforts or anything. But does non-stop prioritizing and optimizing promote stress and kill free creativity? Should illogicality and inefficiency be accepted as ok, to a certain degree? Personally I get annoyed when resources are wasted and non-sustainable processes are used, but perhaps I should not except such efficiency everywhere.
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