No title (vol1)

(I admit, I officially ended this blog. But I miss writing in order to clarify and document my thoughts so in all quietness I guess I can write just a few more posts without anyone noticing. I promise to keep them somehow Uganda related.)

Now that I have been back home for a few months I have been asked tens of times about my experiences in Uganda. I have developed a set of standard answers to summarize how it is like living in one of the world's poorest countries, and what I have learned there.

Often people want to know if the inhabitants of Uganda are truly miserable. Sure they are doing badly when they must fetch drinking water from far away muddy streams, pollute their home indoor air by cooking over traditional fires and constantly worry about getting enough income for tomorrow's food. Most of them live without matters to improve their lives.

My favorite kid at HCF was Noel, a 10-year-old beautiful and talented girl. She picked up everything I taught at once and danced with natural grace and sense of rhythm. In a western country she could become a doctor, a super model, anything she wanted. But in Uganda she was stressed about not being able to go to secondary school. Many times we walked hand-in-hand across the school yard and I listened to her concerns, thinking that instead of worrying about education that kid should be playing with her friends. All I could do was hug her and assure that everything would be fine, without believing it myself. Unless Uganda raises from poverty, it will not be fine for Noel and many of the other children out there. They do not have the world's opportunities in front of them.

But those poor Ugandans are not exposed to the dilemma of having the whole world open for them. Unlike many western people, they do not constantly question whether they have chosen the right profession or partner, they do not regret past failures, and most importantly they do not stress about future, namely making right choices. Unlike me, they need not constantly ask themselves; Am I making the most out of my life at every passing moment? Am I fully utilizing my opportunities to do whatever I desire to do?

During my last month in Uganda, every morning I took a boda from our house to the office. I walked down a short hill and was greeted with the usual crowd of boda drivers, who were sitting on their motorcycles, laughing and joking. Some of them could sit there all day without getting any customers, thus no income, but still not frustrated about wasting their time trying. In the evening, they would be happy to have spent time in good company and go buy a chapatti and a beer, feeling satisfied. If, and hopefully, when Uganda raises from poverty, its inhabitants do not loose the ability to enjoy what they have, no matter how little or short-lasting it is. Hopefully they do not start over-questioning, is this the best I can have or should I change everything to have even more?

Some people who know me well say that I seem more at-peace now than before. They say that they are happy to see me smiling at ordinary seeming things. I think that is because I feel less anxious about future now. I have returned to exactly what I left behind - the self-repeating, predictable life I feared would kill my curiosity - but I no longer feel the urgent need to change it. I trust that life will take me where I belong to go to, with whom I belong to be with, doing what I belong to be doing at each time.