Right to travel (by plane)

I have flown a lot, both for fun and work. Although I have seen many airports, sometimes spending countless jetlagged hours browsing the always same chain stores, paying enormously much for a coffee and trying to find armrestless benches for sleeping, there is still certain magic to them. I associate flying with freedom and adventure. So many times I have entered an airplane full with excitement, knowing that in only in some hours I will be among new cultures, experiences, landscapes and people. I have done almost all of my traveling by plane.  

Snow chaos in Istanbul

Sadly flying is highly destructive to the environment. The aviation industry produces around 2% of human-caused greenhouse gas emissions and as the global middle class keeps growing, so does the amount of flying and emissions caused by it. However, although budget airlines are making flying increasingly accessible to people around the world, less than 20% of the world's population has ever taken a single flight. It is impossible for me to count how many flights I have taken during my lifetime, but I estimate around 20 return intercontinental flights and 150 shorter flights. This means that with my privileged lifestyle I am one of the top contributors to aviation caused climate change.

Lovely nap at Washington airport

I calculate carbon footprints for work, so I am well aware of my flights' climate damage. Speaking with statistics, the annual greenhouse gas emissions of an average person living in Switzerland is 14 tCO2e, while the global average is 6 tCO2e and the threshold value of the planetary boundary is just 0.6 tCO2e. One return economy flight Zürich - Bangkok (including a stop-over in Moscow, as I always pick the cheapest tickets) causes 3 tCO2e. Looking at 14 tCO2e for living versus 3 tCO2e for one flight, it is a no brainer that my best change to protect the environment is to stop flying.

But traveling, especially to far away places, is such a thrill! By spending time in totally different countries, like Uganda and China, I have learned and experienced so much. I have seen extreme poverty and corruption, people with fascinating customs, incredible natural beauty as well as trashed places, and I have tasted strange delicious foods, taken part in cultural festivities and most importantly gotten to know great people around the world. Had I not traveled so much, would I be a different person now. I am convinced that because of traveling I am more tolerant towards dissimilarity, more resilient against change and stress and more knowledgeable about each place and situation having its pros and cons. To me, this is valuable.

Engagement party in Uganda

However, if everyone traveled like me, flying would no doubt be the one single disastrous cause of climate change. Besides it would not even be possible to fit enough planes into the airspace. Still I feel that for the sake of equality also others should have the opportunity to benefit from the learning and fun of far-away traveling. I must admit that the first times I saw a slum, visited a local market, drove through insane traffic, tasted a suspicious dish or tried to understand someone with no common language, were the most impressive ones. Then I was full of curiosity and wonder. As I kept traveling more, although I fully embraced each experience, I also grew accustomed to what I saw. The so called learning curve was steeper in the beginning.

Warming up in Tibetan

Since as excessive travel as mine is not only unsustainable but also impossible, I would suggest flight quotas per capita. If everyone (with interest and money) would be allowed to take few flights, learning and experiencing would still take place but in a more controlled scale. Of course I know that implementing a flight quota system would be utopia, and anyways there are much more severe inequalities in the world. However, I have decided I have used up my "personal flight quota". I have had amazing times and it is time for me to slow down. One of my main reasons to settle down in Switzerland is its central location. From here I can conveniently visit many interesting places by train and bus.

You may ask, do I stop flying altogether? The honest answer is no, I do not. But before booking a flight I consider whether it really is necessary. I no longer want to do climbing and sightseeing trips by flying. Taking a flight must have a better reason. I could not bear the idea of never again meeting one of my best friends living in Australia, so one day I will fly there. Also visiting my home country Finland (once a year) counts as acceptable. If I ever end up working in international development again, I consider some field trips worth the caused emissions.

Visiting a biogas project in Kenya

So climate protection does not stop me from flying altogether. What would then? If one flight would cost a million (or even some thousands) I would not buy it. Admitting this might make me a hypocrit; I know the exact climate impact of my flights, yet still I am willing to do it when the reason is important enough. However, I think this compromise is better than nothing. Maybe also other heavy flyers could go through a check-list – What is the added benefit of this trip? Could I substitute it with something else? Is it really important to me? – before flying next time. Maybe airport glory can sometimes be re-lived through memories.

Me and climbing

I did my first outdoor lead climbs almost 6 years ago in Nam Pha Pay Ai, Thailand, at the start of my first travels (read Nam Pha Pay Ai). Since then climbing has more or less been my passion. Climbing is an amazing sport, where one has to be strong both physically and mentally. It requires power, balance, coordination, tactics, focus and determination. It is maybe the world's best feeling to climb confidently; staying fully in the moment, executing precise movement and giving your everything to the route. Not only has climbing made me stronger (before I could not do even one single pull-up), but it has taught me how to overcome fear - face it heads on! - and how to embrace the learning process, taking each lesson as it comes (read Climbing: fear of falling) . Through climbing I have learned so much that is also applicable to other areas of life.

Thailand

Thailand

Climbing has not only been my hobby, but also my main lifestyle. I have traveled around the world to explore different climbing areas, and visited places I otherwise would have never discovered (read Home at Green Climbers, Notes about China, Climbing - what a great excuse, Home sweet home in Berdorf, Disaster climbing trip). Through climbing I have gotten to know people living in alternative ways; priorizing freedom and experiences over stability and wealth. I am pretty convinced that without their example I would not have had the courage to pursue a new, more inspiring career. Almost all my closest friends are from climbing, and being located all over, we meet up regularly in climbing destinations to spend quality time together. Then there is the great climbing community, or at least two climbing communities. The first one is traveling climbers, touring around prime areas, to whom you keep bumping into from one year to another. The second one is the local gym crew, that occupies nearby crags at weekends. Both communities have brought me a sense of belonging over the past years.

China

Philippines

It is hard to imagine my life without climbing. It has been my identity for so long. During unemployment I saved money by being a dirtbag climber (read The sparing lifestyle of a traveler). I quit partying (for most of the time) in order to have productive climbing days. I even picked my country of living because there is lots of climbing around. Of course there are also other important and interesting things, but climbing has been the focus of my free time already for years. I have missed cool art exhibitions and street fests because after work I have gone to the gym to hang from the fingerboard. I have not seen much of the impressive mountains and cute villages of my new home country, because at weekends I have visited my project routes (of which I have not sent any) at the crags.

Switzerland

During my last travels I climbed more consistently than ever and enjoyed it a lot. Then came Corona, locking me home for a few months, unable to train climbing. During that time I started to do other things, like yoga, reading and exploring the neighborhood. Although everything was closed down, somehow I found new interests. Or I finally had time to do things that had already earlier interested me. After gyms opened again and people returned to crags, I kept finding excuses to not to get back into climbing shape just yet. I went outdoor climbing once in a while but climbed badly; I was scared of falling and did not want to do strenuous moves anyways.

Spain

This past weekend I was climbing at my favorite crag with lots of pockets on slightly overhang endurance climbs. I ended up projecting my last year's warm-up. The grade I climb has stopped mattering to me already a long time ago (as I have no talent to be a good climber), but I enjoy the personal progress and accessing new cool routes as I keep improving. However, what hit me the most, was the realization that I had not really had fun climbing since my travels. I had just climbed because I had to. I spent the night on my own at a campsite and thought a lot about climbing; what it means to me right now and what I want to do with it in the near future.

Switzerland

Greece

A part of me totally resisted the idea of admitting that I am not motivated to climb anymore. I pictured myself unfit and fat (not a joke!) and got scared of loosing my friendships. Quitting climbing would definitely distance me from some people, but probably in the end it would be an interesting experiment to find out who I am truly friends with. At the same time another part of me was overly excited about having time for other interests. Already for months I had looked at friends' mountaineering photos and envied them for accessing such stunning, scary and unique places. I also want to explore the mountains; by hiking, learning to ski and taking some easy alpine courses. I thought about attending yoga retreats, studying German grammar (yes, very exciting), going on bike rides, learning photography, dating guys from Tinder, doing voluntary work, visiting museums, attending interesting lectures and what not... Surely just by quitting climbing, whilst working 100% (I am gonna get my 80% contract, but that is another topic), I would not miraculously gain time for all of that. But surely I would have time to pursue at least a few new interesting things.

Greece

In the end I concluded that I need not be over dramatic. I am not going to sell all my gear and announce that I am no climber anymore. Since I have my climbing gym membership I will keep training indoors, as it is an efficient workout and the home gym is dear to me. However, for the time being I will not climb outdoors. I will engage in activities and learn skills that I am more curious about. I feel that climbing has taught me a lot over the years, but from now on additional learning would be marginal. I have more learning potential through other things. And above all, what I do during my free time should be fun at the moment. That being said, no one knows about the future. Maybe already this winter I will be super motivated again and crush some rad climbs. But until then, I am looking forward to something different...

(Oh man, so many climbing photos of me. I feel totally self-centered posting all of them. But in the end, the topic of this post is me and climbing.)

About resistance and acceptance

I sit by the sea, admiring its waves as they hit the rocky ground. My travels are coming to an end, and spending the last days on my own in a small surfing village feels like the right thing to do.

" There is an ebb and flow to life. People and situations wash upon the shores of our lives. The mighty pressures of the water gently sculpt and shape us. The tides of change have great purpose in our lives. When it is time, the waters recede and sometimes carry things away; even things we love. The tides, while powerful, can move in our lives so gently, if we allow. If you resist the awesome tidal forces of life you are going to hurt yourself. There are some things, people and experiences you cannot have or change. When the waters of life move upon you; do not struggle — give-in and let go. Be still and let the waters flow around you. Let the ancient precession of tides cut a beautiful shoreline in your heart. "
~ Bryant McGill

The difference between this trip and my previous ones is that I did not really want to do this one. I would have preferred to stay building my settled life in Switzerland, but unfortunately my only feasible financial option was to relocate when my work contract ended four months ago. So I did what I was already familiar with; I once again became a digital nomading dirtbag climber and headed out to cheap countries. I had nothing against exchanging the gloomy Swiss winter to warm, sunny climates, and I was psyched to climb at some of the world's best venues. But I felt resistant towards continuously changing places and people, and their seemingly purposelessness. I had worked hard to gain professional relevance, learn the language and build friendships in Zürich, in order to make it my home, and I did not want to take a break from it. Anyways, away I went, and (after a short Balkans detour) ended up in Spain and Morocco.

I felt that given all my efforts I was entitled to success (=financial security brought by an inspiring job) and I saw being on the road almost as a failure. I felt irritated when people commented on me being lucky with my travelling lifestyle. I think they only saw the upside of it, the freedom, not the loneliness and doubtfulness brought by uncertainty about near future. I was living off my savings, with no plausible plan for income generation. I tried my best to live in the moment and trust that whatever future brings along is alright, but I still did not completely accept the state of my life. I kept pushing to apply for jobs in Switzerland, with the mindset that only returning to Zürich would be a good outcome. I was fixated on the end result and not fully embracing the journey of trying and learning. Actually I was resistant towards everything not fitting to my plans and pleasings: rainy weather, short encounters with travelers, not projecting hard climbs, carrying heavy backpacks, non-focused meditation sessions... The harder I tried to get exactly what I wanted, the harder I was hitting my head on the wall.

Do not get me wrong, I was not in a crumby mood. I had a ton of fun exploring new climbing areas, partying at random street fests and tapas bars, admiring varying landscapes and trying out local cuisines. I was just a bit sleepless with over-thinking and urgent with decision making. But as the travels kept progressing, I faced valuable experiences: the second best romance of my life, strengthening relationships with visiting old friends, lessons learned through altering group dynamics, and finally, meeting new people and rediscovering the depth even short encounters can deliver. What I had feared I would most lack during traveling - having meaningful people around me - ended up being the highlight of the journey.

" I know you are working hard towards your goals, but do not force them. You get what you get. If you accept each situation as it is, your life is easier. "
~ A fellow traveler (who I knew for 4 days)

As the sun sets and surfers return from the water, I am ready to join them for a dinner and chats. Who knows what will still happen here at the beachfront before I fly to visit Switzerland in a few days time. Even though my travels are ending in the sense that I am returning to a more structured schedule, I am actually still in the same limbo of uncertainty. Apart from spending the next month studying German, I have no plans, and no idea what will happen to me. But I feel more accepting towards what I have; the flexibility of choosing between different options, the freedom to move around and the adventure of unknown. I will keep reaching towards my goals, but hopefully in a more relaxed manner - enjoying the learning, not forcing the outcome.

My 2020 goals

To begin with, I am not entirely sure what I think about goal setting. Naturally goals are needed in institutional settings, such as in businesses and governments, but personal goals can be either constructive or disruptive. On one hand, they can provide structure; clarity and focus on what one wants in order to be satisfied. On the other hand, too strict goals can prevent one from seeing opportunities outside of their scope, or failing to reach these goals can result in disappointment.

There are people who are driven by tackling challenges and turning difficult into easy. It is not so much about the end result – since achieving one goal just makes space for new ones – but about the journey getting there. I definitely enjoy the process of working hard to learn a new skill or acquire new knowledge, and step by step getting closer to mastering it.

I am trying to follow a philosophy of living in the now and accepting each event as it is. Therefore making plans – defining which outcome is preferable to another one – contradicts with my life view. I guess I can still set myself goals but stay careful about getting attached to them. I can work towards something with the mindset that each outcome - be it success or failure - is equally alright. Instead of defining very quantitative, limiting goals, I can come up with directive ones that can be altered according to circumstances.

Unless something dramatic, like an injury or illness happens, I would like to lead my life towards below goals:

#1 Settle down (in Switzerland)

During the past 20 years I have lived in 7 different countries and done long travels all around. It has been awesome and I am eternally grateful for the opportunities to experience a lot while following my dreams. However, now I am done being a nomad. I want to build myself a home base, from where to go exploring and where to return to.

I have lived in Switzerland for a year and for the first time I feel like I have found a country I want to call home. Switzerland is greatly located in the heart of Europe, it offers prospective job opportunities and its mountainous landscape is simply stunning. Surely it is also hell expensive and making local friends takes ages, but those obstacles can be overcome with adaptation and persistence. I want to integrate in to the Swiss life and get a nice home, a motivating job and good friends.

(Right now I am dirtbagging in Spain to save money until I find my next job. Sure this is fun as always, but I am a bit tired of people constantly coming and going. I am also missing meaningful activities apart from climbing. Being a traveler no longer feels as thrilling as it did some years ago.)

Disclaimer: I am also open to settling down elsewhere, if I for example get a dream job or fall in love with someone, that needs following.

#2 Grow professionally (among international development)

I graduated from university 10 years ago, and ended up in the IT sector. I learned a lot in many different functions, but it was never my passion. During the past years I have worked hard to break into the field of international development, that is damn competitive, interesting and purposeful. I enjoy working with people who are motivated, opinioned and tolerant, driven by impact instead of money.

I have half accidentally acquired niche knowledge in carbon finance. Next I want to broaden my expertise to inclusive business models, sustainable agriculture and fair value chains. I know that I cannot save the world, but improving lives of some people through providing them means to do it themselves would be meaningful to me. I would like to continue working with projects located in poor rural areas in developing countries. There are many NGOs and for-purpose companies offering interesting work opportunities, and I really hope I will get a job soon.

Disclaimer: If I do not get an international development job, but still prioritize living in Switzerland, I am okey with working at a climbing gym, an outdoor store or even a cafe until I get a job I really want.

#3 Climb better (send 7Bs)

I properly started outdoor climbing 5 years ago in Thailand, at the beginning of my first long travels. I sent my first 7B route 2 years ago but have not sent any more since then. I keep trying to improve in climbing but have plateaued at my current level. I know I have what it takes to be a better climber, but I have no idea how to get there. In order to avoid getting frustrated always climbing at the same level, I have set myself qualitative goals alongside grade goals.

I want to become a skilled climber with precise footwork, balanced movement and dynamic style. Climbing efficiently and confidently, not avoiding run-outs, finding rest spots and trying until falling off also belong to my goal list. I usually do not send my project routes because I cannot solve their cruxes. I want to learn to come up with optimal beta (or listen to advice about it) and memorize it rapidly. Also having the right mindset is important, so staying positive, focused and calm will help me not only in climbing better but also in fully enjoying it.

Disclaimer: I may compromise on the 7B grade goal. If I end up traveling for a longer time without training facilities and/or partners willing to project, I might have to stick to skills improvement and having fun.

#4 Learn German (Swiss German)

As a kid I learned German at school, but I never used it in real life. When I moved to Switzerland I decided that I want to learn the local language. I put lots of effort into speaking as much German as possible, often at the cost of not being able to properly express myself by engaging in deep conversations. Little by little the commitment has paid off and now I can handle most situations in German.

However, German is not Swiss German. I still need to ask people to speak to me in German, as I do not understand anything in Swiss German. I do not care how I speak myself, but I want to learn to understand Swiss German. I also want to learn to write professional documents with proper grammar and vocabulary. In a nutshell, I want to make (Swiss) German my primary language in Switzerland.

Disclaimer: There is none. Of all my to-be-achieved things during the past years, I have gotten furthest with German. I have truly enjoyed the improvement, and I am looking forward to returning to Switzerland to keep learning more.

I acknowledge that these goals can be set either for the year 2020 or the decade 2020. I do not want to explicitly specify which one I mean, but rather the first couple of years than all of them. To be honest, this big year change does not mean much to me, as tracking time is just an agreement for convenience, but it has provided this incentive to write down my main goals. Now, let's see what actually happens...