What am I doing in Laos

Sometimes I like reading what I thought about selected topics years ago. Now that I have – so to say – “made it” in the field of international development, meaning that I am working in a developing country on an attractive expat contract (although just for 6 months), I decided to look back to this post I wrote 6 years ago. Then I had just finished my first 2 working years in an iNGO in the Netherlands and wrote about my initial knowledge and impressions about the fascinating but challenging world of development cooperation. I started reading the post with a slight sense of self-embarrassment towards the professionally inexperienced version of myself, but in the end most of the content is not awfully off and what saves the text is admitting how little I knew back then. (But how on earth have I managed to make all those grammar mistakes! To save my ass, if I still remember correctly, I was slightly drunk when writing that post.) 

 I remember at the time of leaving that job in the Netherlands I was contemplating between building a stable, comfortable life in Europe and progressing my career by adventuring in some developing country. I had visited projects in several countries and knew that the realities in the field were far from what was imagined in the head office. It was ten times more motivating meeting beneficiaries where action was taking place than just looking at impact figures in front of a computer. First hand experience of what is going on in the implementation of a project definitely helps to better plan, support and monitor it. I saw the thrill of living in a completely different environment, learning about a new culture by working inside of it, and most importantly the value of gaining field work experience much appreciated in the international development industry. However, back then the desire to find myself a home country and focus on rock climbing was stronger than the pull to field work. Looking back, I am now happy I put the effort of almost 5 years to establish my life in Switzerland, a country I carefully picked out and now happily call the home I belong to. As there is a right time for everything in life, last year I set out to venturing the world of field work. (I wrote more about that decision in a previous post.) First I lived in Albania for a year and when I got offered to continue in Laos for half a year more, I of course accepted the opportunity. Now I have been in Vientiane for 3 months. 

Vientiane night market

I have moved from climate protection to employment support and economic empowerment. I am finally putting my business studies into use and developing entrepreneurship trainings for marginalized youth aspiring to start their own micro-businesses. To be honest, I really like adjusting business planning tools, budget templates and seed money applications to serve the needs of people barely having finished primary school, some of them having difficulties even with reading and basic calculations. But what is greatest is meeting these youngsters at business trainings and pitching events. They have often been neglected big parts of their lives; growing up without caring adults, working in the farm instead of getting education, facing poverty and social discrimination, basically having no one believing in them. For many of them participating in the project is the first time when they think about their future and make life plans. In rural areas of Laos most of them choose to learn basic tailoring, cookery, motorbike repair, mushroom production, barbering and beauty salon services. 

Training of business mentors

For me the most inspiring part of my work has been to witness the participants’ transformation during the 5-day entrepreneurship trainings. Step by step they build their business canvasses, where ideas become concrete plans. But it is not just about learning technical skills, as the curricula includes also self-work on accepting past difficulties, changing limiting beliefs, dreaming about success and celebrating achievements. I have been truly moved by the courage of these youth to share their painful experiences, support each other and trust to go after their goals. Compared to them, I have always been in the privileged position to shape my life as I see fit. However, although my problems are nothing like theirs, I also have inner work to do in order to become a more confident, resourceful person. In the trainings I often jumped into the imagination practices and sharing circles, and I got so much energy from the engaged, motivated youth. If they are able to believe in their dreams and commit to achieving them, so am I! As much as it is my job is to create an enabling program for these youngsters, they keep inspiring me as they learn various entrepreneurship skills (of which many are completely new concepts to them), which they poor into their businesses eyes shining with excitement. Of course, their journey is just beginning, and I cannot wait to visit them when they open their shops and provide their communities with products and services. I just really wish I could understand the Lao language. Although I have colleagues kindly translating for me, I miss out on a lot of information, especially during informal sharing sessions and breaks. 

Young entrepreneurs in business training

Main street in Xayaburi

As much as work is fulfilling, life in Vientiane can be monotonous at times. It is too hot and there is nothing to do. (Heard this complaint before? Yes, in my post about adapting to Albania.) I live in a comfortable serviced apartment (man it is quick getting used to not cleaning yourself), practice yoga with a kind, experienced teacher, and in 3 months I have eaten out more times than I could afford in a lifetime in Switzerland. But there is not much more to do here and I do not know many people to hang out with. I literally aimlessly walk around my neighborhood and browse through supermarkets, just to kill time. I miss hiking in the mountains, meeting friends at the climbing gym, going to art exhibitions, ice skating, just having a selection of free time activities. I have 3 more months to go in Laos and I aim to enjoy every single moment of it, as I know that in the end I will miss this slow, laid back lifestyle. However, knowing that my time here is limited helps with the enjoying, as I might think differently was I to stay for many more years to come. No matter what, I am so thankful for the opportunities I have gotten to work in interesting projects around the world and build my career in international development. So far it has been a great journey and I look forward to seeing where else it takes me, be it at home in Switzerland or again somewhere else abroad…

Albanian Love Bomb

I have now lived in Tirana for 8 months, and I find Albania extremely fascinating. I enjoy learning about its part in the complicated Balkans history, as well as about its rich culture with countless different traditional songs, costumes, heroes, foods and stories. I feel that I have just tipped to understanding the Albanian mentality and how everything functions here, and I hope I will have the chance to experience more. However, I already know that Albanians are friendly, accepting, open, expressive and humorous. They take the time to help others and show that they care. Also adapted foreigners have the habit to act with hospitability and patience, which makes Tirana a pleasant city to live.

A year ago I started self-development on the topic of love. My coach Elisa gave me exercises to uncover traumas, get in touch with emotions and question deep-rooted beliefs. I was so blocked and frustrated that I actually fired her half-way through the program, but to my luck she did not accept the dismissal. She told me that to heal I need to experience a Love Bomb, which will make me open up and feel safe in the presence of love. Back then I narrowly thought that such a love bomb must be romantically falling in love at first sight and living happily ever after, nothing less would do. Puzzled at this chicken-and-egg problem, I asked how could I possibly find someone to love me in order to become receptive of love?

In the summer I moved from Switzerland to Albania. I started experiencing attacks of kindness from people around me. When my new friend gave me a hug (I mean a proper hug, not polite cheek kisses) and said she is so happy for having met me. When my yoga teacher made sure I was not traumatized after awkwardly falling from a headstand attempt. When a disabled begger started a smiley conversation as I gave him some coins. When my over-worked boss gifted me books he had thought I would enjoy reading. When a surgeon whatsapped me on a public holiday to ask how my tiny wound was healing. At first I felt of course happy, but also out-of-place. I would have felt more comfortable, had people treated me with indifference. I had done nothing to deserve such kindness, and I was afraid I would accidentally do something to upset these friendly people.

I remembered what Elisa had earlier pointed out to me: How can one expect to be able to be open for the big love of her live, if she feels scared even with the smallest acts of affection. She had suggested me to get acquainted first with small, safe doses of love. And now these doses were coming! From everywhere! I saw the opportunity to practice with them, and now I am starting to feel more comfortable in their presence. I am even beginning to experiment what happens if I show affection and caring to people around me. I aim not to worry about their reaction, as what matters in the end is my ability to be sincere. Step by step, I am learning to experience love without being too intimitated by it.

I do not know yet whether I will end up staying here for longer or return to Switzerland in 4 months time. Nevertheless, I believe I came to Albania to receive my own personal Love Bomb, or rather a shower of love drops. I cannot really tell what was the cause and what the effect, as both my inner work and the enabling environment definitely played a role in this realization. I know that we North-Europeans are just as feeling as southerners, we just do not show it as easily. That is why I think I needed to come to a more open culture to get a good push towards love, and now that I am on the road I can keep up with it where ever I go. So when I sooner or later move back home, as a souvenir I want to bring some friendly Albanian love.

PS. Coach Elisa, if you read this, thank you! Sometimes in life you first learn just with rational understanding, while the real experimental learning can happen later on, like in my case. Now I actually feel what you meant!