Time has stopped. I feel dull, bored, lazy, unfit. The temperature is almost 40C outside. If I leave my airconditioned apartment, I get hit by a wall of hot still air that covers me in sweat within seconds. I have slept in, meditated and read the news, and now I am selecting a YouTube workout to do on my living room floor. I still have quite many hours to kill before a Facetime chat with my Finnish friends. Sounds like lockdown? Nope, corona is already (more or less) over. This is just my weekend in Tirana, already a fourth in a row without leaving the city.
I had a beautiful life in Switzerland, the country I now call home. Yet still I decided to put everything there on hold to go live a year in Albania, where I had not even visited before. I wanted to utilize a good career opportunity to learn about new topics and field work. And most of all, I wanted to challenge myself in a new environment.
I like Tirana. The city is full of life; there are always people on the streets and something going on. When I walk around there is almost too much to observe. There are run-down buildings, shops, new highrises, construction, urban paintings, traffic, dead-end alleys, restaurants, all surrounded by mountains. Despite the heat life happens outside. People chat in front of their businesses and drink coffee in bars, and when it finally gets dark and cooler, the city's numerous bars fill with beer drinkers.
“If you do not get uncomfortable leaving your comfort zone, then you have never left it.”
But I love to be in the nature. I am happy when I am hiking up a mountain, trying a climbing route or doing anything physically (and often also mentally) challenging in a peaceful place, with a few likeminded friends. Of course I also appreciate city life and never say no to a good drink – especially after training sports. However, if I had to choose just one, it would no doubt be the outdoors!
Albania offers excellent outdoor opportunities, ranging from picturesque beaches to unexplored mountains. In theory I could be going somewhere new every weekend just like in Switzerland, but in reality I am not. After my only outdoorsy friend left, I have no one to go with. Locals and expats alike prefer relaxing in bars to getting exhausted on some hike. Because a car is needed to reach most destinations going alone is rarely an option, as driving a rental car on my own would be both too expensive and dangerous.
“Before anything great is achieved, your comfort zone must be disturbed.”
So just as I wanted, I am challenging myself. I try to stay fit by running loops in the city park and doing yoga. (On a positive note, I have found an excellent yoga school. I am finally learning yoga with good teachers, and I am curious about the journey it will take me on.) I focus on drinking in nice bars, self development, dating and most importantly learning in the job that I came here for!
See how mature and calm I remain in the discomfort. Culture shock is for rookies, not for a seasoned expat like me. This is the sixth foreign country I live in, so I certainly know how to adapt to new cultures and ways of operating. I am strong and independent, I have always made courageous decisions, I remain open to whatever comes along, and living in Albania is a piece of cake for me. I feel even a bit superior to other foreigners, who get stressed about each little difference compared to their own countries.
"There is no shame in missing home. It means you came from a happy place."
I am on a work trip in Laos. I have eaten suspicious mushrooms for lunch, and now I am in bed with a severe food poisoning. I have high fever and feel too sick to even turn around to lay on the other side. I pity myself from the bottom of my heart, yet I know this misery is what I needed. After two months of ignoring my culture shock I needed to hit the bottom, in order to give in to how I really feel.
If I survive alive, I want to return to Switzerland. There people are predictably friendly but at the same time cautious and distant. It takes forever to make friends, but the ones you have stick around. Just like in Finland. There I (kind of; note German vs Swiss German) speak the language, and after years of studying the complicated system can navigate in the jungle of residency rules, tax schemes, pension savings and insurance options. Above all there I have good friends for outdoor sports, and I feel I belong.
"When you unpack your suitcase, you declare your intention to stay. When you unpack your heart, you can start to settle in."
After a 35-hour long journey we finally land in Tirana, and passengers walk outside from the plane to the terminal. It has just rained; the air is welcomingly fresh and it is just below 30C! As we drive into the city I am glad to see the mountains, no matter how unreachable they currently are for me. Tired and sleepy, I enjoy going to the familiar neighborhood supermarket and eating tasty vegetables on my lovely terrace.
Maybe after this year in Albania I return to Switzerland, maybe the upcoming months here reveal something that makes me want to stay for longer. The only thing I know is that now I am more capable to accept the present reality – both the external environment and my inner dialogue - as it is.
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| View from my terrace |
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