Traveling and/or/versus working

"What the fuck am I doing? I have no home. I have no job. Does that mean I have no future?" Sometimes when I am not busy I stop and think about how confused I am. This is the first time in my life that I have not got a set plan to follow. Sure, the rough plan is to keep on traveling until I find a job somewhere and then make myself a home there. But for how long does it take until I find a job? What and where will it be? Essentially, will I ever even find any satisfying work?

Some people expect me to stop traveling and return to normal life. Without asking from me, they assume I would be happy if I just got another well-paying job, stable property and family. Or maybe they do not really think about my happiness, but conservatively want me to be like everyone else. Usually I am able to ignore upsetting comments if I know they are not valid. This time I cannot entirely do it, though, because I am not hundred percent sure about it.

I have had good conversations with other travelers. In general, they seem more relaxed, joyful and open than normal people. I notice less "what-if" and "then-when" type of thinking but they seek to be happy in present moment. I think less travelers will regret their journeys than normal people will regret not having realized their dreams. It is comforting to know that many others have made the same choice as me and they are doing well. It seems that the longer they have traveled the less troubled they are with similar career pressures to mine.

After all, money matters. Not even the cheapest living traveler can survive without sufficient funds. It seems that most travelers do seasonal jobs, which are easy to get and quit. Academic jobs are different. They have demanding application processes and they are expected to last for years. Organizations employing academic professionals require commitment, so having a long travel gap in my CV might decrease my employment chances.

At this stage, I cannot make such a big decision as to abandon my academic career. I enjoy intellectual challenges and I am too ambitious to stop trying to yet achieve new skills. After quitting my IT job I have done research to figure out what kinds of career profiles exist that might interest me. So far my list of key words is the following: impact sector, developing countries, climate change, economic development, consulting, project management. I have applied to interesting sounding jobs in Europe and Asia, but I fear I cannot beat the touch competition for them.

If I could define the optimal plan, I would travel for a few more months and then start a job in some new country (not Finland). For me the content of the work is more important than its location, so I consider the whole world as my job market. Naturally I do not always get exactly what I plan, but I must be flexible to temporarily adapt to less optimal situations until I can change them for better. Maybe I will get a temporary job to refill my CV for a while, and then go on traveling again.

Anyways, I am getting increasingly motivated to spend quiet days with my computer to write job applications. It gives me a sense of control over my life. "Maybe I have some idea about what I am doing; I am partly aimlessly drifting from one thing to another, partly determinedly building my future. Doubtlessly I am doing the right thing for me."

My Chiang Mai office

White water kayaking at Mae Taeng River