Albanian Love Bomb

I have now lived in Tirana for 8 months, and I find Albania extremely fascinating. I enjoy learning about its part in the complicated Balkans history, as well as about its rich culture with countless different traditional songs, costumes, heroes, foods and stories. I feel that I have just tipped to understanding the Albanian mentality and how everything functions here, and I hope I will have the chance to experience more. However, I already know that Albanians are friendly, accepting, open, expressive and humorous. They take the time to help others and show that they care. Also adapted foreigners have the habit to act with hospitability and patience, which makes Tirana a pleasant city to live.

A year ago I started self-development on the topic of love. My coach Elisa gave me exercises to uncover traumas, get in touch with emotions and question deep-rooted beliefs. I was so blocked and frustrated that I actually fired her half-way through the program, but to my luck she did not accept the dismissal. She told me that to heal I need to experience a Love Bomb, which will make me open up and feel safe in the presence of love. Back then I narrowly thought that such a love bomb must be romantically falling in love at first sight and living happily ever after, nothing less would do. Puzzled at this chicken-and-egg problem, I asked how could I possibly find someone to love me in order to become receptive of love?

In the summer I moved from Switzerland to Albania. I started experiencing attacks of kindness from people around me. When my new friend gave me a hug (I mean a proper hug, not polite cheek kisses) and said she is so happy for having met me. When my yoga teacher made sure I was not traumatized after awkwardly falling from a headstand attempt. When a disabled begger started a smiley conversation as I gave him some coins. When my over-worked boss gifted me books he had thought I would enjoy reading. When a surgeon whatsapped me on a public holiday to ask how my tiny wound was healing. At first I felt of course happy, but also out-of-place. I would have felt more comfortable, had people treated me with indifference. I had done nothing to deserve such kindness, and I was afraid I would accidentally do something to upset these friendly people.

I remembered what Elisa had earlier pointed out to me: How can one expect to be able to be open for the big love of her live, if she feels scared even with the smallest acts of affection. She had suggested me to get acquainted first with small, safe doses of love. And now these doses were coming! From everywhere! I saw the opportunity to practice with them, and now I am starting to feel more comfortable in their presence. I am even beginning to experiment what happens if I show affection and caring to people around me. I aim not to worry about their reaction, as what matters in the end is my ability to be sincere. Step by step, I am learning to experience love without being too intimitated by it.

I do not know yet whether I will end up staying here for longer or return to Switzerland in 4 months time. Nevertheless, I believe I came to Albania to receive my own personal Love Bomb, or rather a shower of love drops. I cannot really tell what was the cause and what the effect, as both my inner work and the enabling environment definitely played a role in this realization. I know that we North-Europeans are just as feeling as southerners, we just do not show it as easily. That is why I think I needed to come to a more open culture to get a good push towards love, and now that I am on the road I can keep up with it where ever I go. So when I sooner or later move back home, as a souvenir I want to bring some friendly Albanian love.

PS. Coach Elisa, if you read this, thank you! Sometimes in life you first learn just with rational understanding, while the real experimental learning can happen later on, like in my case. Now I actually feel what you meant!